make it up as we go along

Sometimes I think, “Man, why can’t people just get rid of their old beliefs and move on with the times?”. Then I realize that I, myself, still get stuck in my own old ideas. Such as my ideas of where I thought I would be at this time in my life. That’s just the way we grew up though, with these ideas instilled in our heads: school, work, marriage…that’s life. I am pretty happy with where I am at. Sure, I am constantly wondering when I will find that one thing that over takes me and I decide to pursue as a “career”, however, I like to think I am enjoying the ride to finding that. While also in the back of my mind always thinking, I may never find the “one” thing. I’ve always been all over the board and loved trying different things. I want to know how to do everything, that is the problem. I have a hard time concentrating and trying to master just one thing. So, I have been trying to figure out how on earth I can involve it all. But aside from job/career stuff, I had these ideas when I was young about family and friends. There are people you think will always be around, or your relationships will never change. You love some people so much you can’t imagine that love changing. I thought when I was little I could never leave Tacoma. How could I? It’s where I grew up, it’s where my immediate family is, it’s where my best friends are, it’s close to the rest of my closest family. But then I left. At first thinking I would be back without a doubt when I was ready to settle down. That time still hasn’t come and I am not sure if Tacoma is the place I can do that. So, I say, that’s okay, but definitely Washington. How could I not settle and raise a family in my home state, which is so beautiful, has all the seasons (seemingly not equal time), and will at least be only hours away from the people I care about most? I’m still mostly on that train but trying very hard to not even think about that. Because things change. The way you thought life would be as a kid, is most likely a total 180. I mean of course I still love my family and best friends! And I think that I am one of the lucky few who has a solid group of friends that I have had for 10+ years, some 20+. For goodness sake, my brother is marrying my best friend of 19 years, sister! What girl didn’t dream of being sisters with their best friend when they were young?! That’s some story book shit. You can’t pinpoint all that changes, nor do I really want to. You just feel them, and sometimes it hurts a little, to let go of those ideas and plans you had. Realizing as you change, others do to. There just isn’t enough time to do all the things you want and spend enough with every one you want to. That’s one of the scary things about having kids, is when they are old enough to leave. And if they turn out like me, they just keep leaving and coming back and you never know for how long. That’s definitely harder on a mom than the kid. My mom is very supportive of everything I do. That is another thing I am very lucky to have, despite all the things that may make me angry about them, they are both very supportive. A lot of people who live my lifestyle don’t have that. They mostly get the, “When are you going to grow up, get a real job, do something with your life?”. A question about school may come up, or if I’m interested in working further in a certain field, but never any pushing, poking, or prodding. At least not yet…

Some relationships I never thought would be the tiniest bit distant, are right now…that’s ok. Because that doesn’t mean they always will be. Some people still have a lot to figure out, myself included, and it’s hard to understand what someone else is doing when you are trying to understand what you, yourself are doing. I just wish that everyone would recognize and respect that about one another and that your paths may have once been parallel, but if they aren’t any longer doesn’t mean they won’t at least cross again.

I certainly never would’ve foreseen my life as it is, and I feel that as time is going on I’m getting less of an idea about how it should be or how I want it to be in X amount of years. Maybe that is something we should all work on, having too many expectations can back fire, and plans, well, they don’t always work out. Now, I’m not being naïve here, and living some carefree, don’t give a fuck life. I’m just saying everyone has different end goals, if any, thus a different route to get to them. To each their own, that’s basically all I want to say. 🙂




It’s about the journey, eh?

well the journey has been nothing short of dull..

Oh, hey Tahoe! It’s been a good 7 months or so, and 43 hours to get here from Tacoma! Usually a 12-hour drive, 13 if you are going slow…what’s another 30?! I guess traveling during one of the biggest storms thus far this season isn’t very smart, but hey, I have my home on my truck so I figured I’d take the gamble. Figuring if worst comes to worst I’d have to sleep somewhere in the camper. That happened, twice. Got shut down in Oregon due to an I-5 closure, then after finding a way roundabout way on the freeway the following morning I had a pretty smooth drive into, and through, California. Just as I was about to make my way out of Grass Valley, CA and onto the final home stretch to Truckee…they had closed all highways into Truckee. It was only 3:00 pm. The good news: I was dying for a burger and parked right across the street from a small joint. Got a fantastic burger then decided to try my luck and see how far I could make it towards Truckee taking a different route. I managed to make it on to the interstate for a little ways, but got shut down. Luckily there was a rest stop nearby so Socks and I posted up there for the night. It was around 6:30 by this point and I was pretty exhausted from the night before so I did some camper rearranging and then just dosed in and out of sleep for a few hours. Opening my eyes just long enough to check the road status then trying to get back to sleep. Finally, at 2:52 am when I happen to awake for a minute, I checked the status and the roads were open, with restrictions. I decided it was way too late and sketchy to try and drive at that hour so I would try and sleep for a couple of more hours and hope that the road conditions stayed as they were. Chains were required on all vehicles except 4wd with snow tires, one guy tried to stop me and have me put chains on my front tires but I managed to squeak by. I knew that probably wasn’t the smartest, and I could easily get into some trouble driving up the steep summit it, but fortunately the weather wasn’t too bad and it was very slow moving. I made it to Truckee at 6:45 Thursday morning, finally! Thursday was a rather anti climatic day; my first stop was of course the trusty Crest Café. I found out the pass I was planning on getting to Squaw was no longer available so I weighed out my other options and then met up with a friend for a dog walk in Tahoe city. It was a gorgeous sunny day and the whole area was blanketed with snow. A couple feet of snow in some places. I meandered around Squaw and went back to the Crest for sushi night. I saw a lot of familiar, friendly faces Thursday and it was great to catch up with some of those people! Friday morning I set out on my mission to get to Squaw Valley USA, get a pass, and snowboard! Just before getting to the turn off to Squaw…the parking lots were filled. The same went for Alpine meadows…to the trusty Crest café I went again to reassess and figure out a game plan for the day! After not getting much done besides a lot of sitting and useless internet perusing, I headed back to Truckee to take socks on a walk around the river. I was hoping there would be a ton of snow on the trail so I could just take my splitboard out and use it like a pair of cross country skis, but they had plowed the trail. So, a regular old walk was going to have to do. We stayed parked there at the end of the road by our favorite spot to start the trail and took an hour nap in the camper. The sun was heating the camper up just enough to sleep comfortable under one blanket. Then came time to figure out what to do with the rest of our day. I decided I would be proactive and go back to Squaw and get my pass so I had no obstacles Saturday morning, and could just get up early, drive straight there, and get in line. Also, I had left my wallet at the Crest and figured the sooner I get that the better. On the drive that way, I quickly realized I picked a terrible time to go if I planned on getting back to Truckee any time soon after. Traffic was already backing up in the opposing direction. I picked up my wallet, went to Squaw and successfully got my pass. But then I was stuck. By the looks and sounds of it, it was going to take an hour just to get off the Squaw Valley Rd and onto highway 89, and easily another hour to get to Truckee. That suspicion was confirmed today hearing stories from last night. My good friend was working at a restaurant in the village though so I decided I’d hang out and try and wait out the traffic. That was somewhat successful. I got bored of standing around the restaurant though, and that’s all there was to do due to everyone else having the same idea about trying to wait out the traffic. There was more than a 2 hour wait to be seated. No one was going anywhere any time soon. I made a move toward Truckee, it wasn’t so bad, at least compared to what it had been. Still…50 minutes to go 10 miles isn’t exactly ideal.

Waking up Saturday to hearing that it was already raining at the mountain wasn’t ideal either…but I had all my ducks in a row and was not going to let that parking lot fill up before I got there again. I didn’t get there as early as planned but the lots weren’t nearly as full as I had thought they may be and there wasn’t any line at KT. I hopped right on the chair. Moved about 50 feet and the chair stopped…for 30 minutes at least…in the pouring rain. I had a puddle in my lap that began to seep through to my base layers. “Figures” was all I could think…just my luck. I finally got off the chair and it was raining at the top. I couldn’t see very well and to say the least, it most definitely wasn’t the first run in Tahoe for the season that I had imagined. And just like that, that was it. Break time. A beer with Andy, severe loss of motivation, and soaked almost to the bone from one run…I was ready to call it. Today wasn’t my day. That became even more apparent walking to the truck, slipping in the slush filled parking lot and fully laying out, flat on my back in a puddle deep enough it had covered the entire top of my foot in my boot. Now I was sure today wasn’t my day. The entire back half of my body was now fully saturated. My helmet fell off and was full of water. I was on the verge of crying and laughing hysterically. Only me…only me. Half of me happy no one I knew saw, the other half wishing a friend was there to just pound a beer and laugh at the series of minor misfortunes happening this week. Being thankful that thus far, they have only been minor hiccups and trying not to let them get the best of me. The upside, I was walking to the camper where I had plenty of dry clothes to put on immediately and not have to sit in traffic soaking wet. Now all I wanted was a hot shower, hot coffee, and a hot meal. Leading me to here…enjoying one of my all-time favorite coffee shops. Hot coffee: check…now to go cook a hot meal and find a hot shower!! Excited to see how the rest of this impulsive, so far eventful, trip to Tahoe goes! Stay tuned…